A letter to my 16 year old self.
Hey douchebag, I know, 16 it’s a pretty big year,
but it’s just one of many once you get here.
So don’t dwell on the bad times; just cherish the good.
Just be yourself everyday and always do what you should.
Keep in mind, you and I, were in this life together.
So don’t screw it up for me, but remember we won’t live forever.
So be sure to have fun and make a few mistakes.
Nothing too big, just somethings for old times sakes.
Give me something to remember and to look back on,
and be sure to get through school so we can leave home.
Be nice to everyone even if they aren’t nice back.
Karma will reward you in time while it holds them back.
It’s okay to get down, to not know what to do.
One of the beauties of this world is everyone gets confused.
Just keep moving, because if you stop you might get stuck.
It may take some time, but you’ll make it through the muck.
Don’t let your chin down, or you’ll miss all the fun.
If you keep your head up, you’ll eventually see the sun.
The easiest way to explain it is life gets pretty hard,
but if you stay true to you, and keep moving, then we’ll go far.
Just a poem. I have never posted anything like this on this account, but screw it.
If I could go back five years to when I was seventeen.
I would tell myself about some of the things I’ve seen.
Somethings I’ve done right, and some I’ve done wrong,
but really all of the stuff that made me write this poem.
I would certainly mention some girls and where I messed up.
One in particular, I would say to grow some balls and fess up.
I would be just about to meet her for the very first time.
I would tell “me” how to make sure I made her mine.
The other girls I dated just came and passed,
but now a few years later I wish I would’ve made her last.
Lacy was great, she was practically my best friend.
Had I been more mature at the time we would never have to end.
But I wasn’t. I would beat the Hell out of my 19 year old self.
For the way I let this get dusty on the back of the shelf.
Because here I am now trying to clean that slate,
and I don’t even know if I’ll ever happen to get a date.
Past self listen to me. This really isn’t that hard.
When you hang out with Lacy all those nights in your car
don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel, if you want this to go far.
Or you could end up alone like me, writing about these scars.
Source: thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg
For anyone who is wondering about the girl from the post…
Today, I went to the grocery store, where she works, to get toothpaste, and to try to see her. My sister rode along, which was a nice change of pace for me. We got to teh store and then I saw her. Her and my sister started talking about something, which was a good way for me to get in the conversation. Then before we left she gave me a hug and said it was really good to talk to me again, and I asked if she would like to hang out on her next day off, and she said yes. So, I got her new number and am supposed to text her to set it all up, but here is hoping for the best in the situation. I know I am already so proud of myself for doing as much as I have, and so happy that, for now, she seems to want to hang out. I just hope it was a she says yes, but means no type of thing.
Thanks for the support and encouragement so far guys. I need all of it I can get. :)
Thank you.
I just want to thank anyone who read my post last night, and especially thank the 3 who responded. Any help with this is always good. It helps me be a bit more prepared for something I have thought about everyday for at least 2 and a half years. So thank you, and wish me luck, pray for me, whatever it is you do for someone in a situation like this. Let’s do this!
I am so nervous. I know this is long, but maybe you can help me?
Alright, so here is the full story. A few years ago, the fall of 2007 to be exact, I met a couple of new friends. I was a senior, and my new friends were freshmen. One in particular stuck out to me, we just clicked. She was great in every way, and I liked her immediately.
We became really good friends over the next month, talking on the phone and myspace and msn all the time, plus in school any chance we got. Our mutual friends knew I had a thing for her and told me they were certain it was mutual, these were really her friends telling me this. It all made sense too, she acted the exact way as I did around her. So, they told me to ask her out to the movies or something to get some time alone with just her and I to really bond some.
Well, I called her house and she had just lft a few minutes earlier. I called her friends back, and they were shocked, but told me a guy who I knew pretty well had just picked her up to go to the movies. I was crushed. I continued to be her best guy friend though, and they dated for a couple of months. When they broke up, I was giving her some time before I made my move, because I am a respectful bastard.
In this time, another guy I know very well started dating her, and they were together for about 3 months and I got pretty down about it, so I started dating another girl, Donna, who was pretty cool, but not quite as awesome as the first girl, Lacy.
Lacy and I were still great friends, and I even took keyboarding my last semester of high school just to have it with her, even though I had it my freshmen year. We were always really flirtatious even when we had other people we were with, so much so that when one of the people saw I was with Donna online, they asked Lacy if we had broken up. Everyone assumed we were together once she became single the second time.
I stayed with Donna for over a year, and I had graduated, and was in my second semester of college. Lacy and I hadn’t talked for probably 4 months. It sucked too. Then Donna and I broke up(April 2009), and a couple of weeks passed and Lacy started talking to me here and there. I still wanted to be with her bad, but was afraid she just hated me at that point for not talking to her much due to my past relationship. I apologized, and we were on good terms, as good friends again.
I talked to a couple of girls here and there over the next four months, but none made me feel like she did. Then, at the beginning of June we started hanging out again. We went to movies, I stayed at her house until just before her parents would get up for work cuddling with her while she slept. I would just lay with my arms around her and rub her back. She had a purple take top she would wear a lot, and sigh, I loved laying there with her.
Then came July, and August. She started her Junior year, and I started my second year of college. She got her learner’s, and to this day she is the only non-related female to drive my car. We were getting really close, and my best friend was talking another girl, Brandy. Brandy wasn’t able to hang out with Paxton one night, because he was grounded, so I kept her occupied so she would be happy and not hate him, and we made out. They broke up, and I felt bad, so I started talking to Brandy so I wouldn’t have done that to him for nothing. Lacy was supportive, but I was trying to find ways to break up with Brandy.
Lacy finally confessed to me that she loved me, like really loved me, and had for 3 years. This was the news I was dying to hear, as I felt the exact same way. I was only 19, and was immature and terribly afraid and was getting laid by Brandy, so I ran so to speak after we Lacy and I started talking about seriously dating if I would break up with Brandy. The last time Lacy and I hung out, was the most magical night of my life.
It was a Saturday, September 19, 2009. I picked her up at her house, and we went to the mall to hang out. I was currently dating Brandy, but wanted to spend the day with Lacy. She bought a pair of purple jeans that matched her purple wife beater perfectly. I was so excited, she looks great in purple, hell, she looks great in everything. Then we left the mall, and stopped by pizza hut, where we had a mini date kind of. It was so great, and she took a picture of me that I still have on my phone, and I look so happy.
I was so happy. I was with the girl I was in love with. We were having an amazing day. I then had to take her home to get dressed for work. We got to her house and she got dressed, and I took her to work and arranged to pick her up too, so we could talk about “us”.
After work, I got her and we rode around for a few minutes and talked, then we sat in her driveway and talked for probably a half an hour. Then Brandy called. So Lacy decided it was time to go inside, which just killed me, and it kills me right now thinking about it.
Before she went, I put the phone down and ignored brandy, and we kissed. It wasn’t full on tongue or anything, just a slow, romantic style kiss I guess would be how I would describe it. My heart exploded. I KNEW then that I did love her, and I was suppose to be with her.
I just couldn’t break up with someone, I felt too bad if I would have. I dated Brandy for a year and a half. Lacy and i texted a few times during that time, but not much. Most notably, she texted me one day upset; she had a dream that I died, and wanted to make sure I was okay. I still had feelings for her, and this made me hope for the same in return, since she showed some emotion for me, and had been crying that day waiting for me to text.
I stayed with Brandy though. Lacy was dating a douche at this point anyways. Then I broke up with Brandy in March/April 2011. Lacy became single around the beginning of May. I started texting her and talking to her, and on May 22 she was going to bed, and told me she loved me. It felt great, but I was giving her some time to really get over her last relationship before giving us a chance again, but of course, a few days later she was in a relationship. We stopped talking, and ever since then she has been the inspiration in me to better myself, and in my writing.
Well, 3 weeks ago today the guy broke up with her. I have yet to see her to talk to her, because I would feel creepy just texting her out of nowhere after a year, but tomorrow I have made my mind up I am going to see if she would like to hang out. As friends for now possibly, and see where it goes. It has taken me FIVE YEARS basically since meeting this girl to just take my shot, but I love her, and have for most of that time.
Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this situation? I assume she will be at my sisters graduation tomorrow because one of her best friends is graduating, and if not she may be at work. If neither of those work, should I text her or message her on facebook? How should I start the conversation? I am so nervous I am going to screw any potential chance I have up, and I don’t know how well I would take that honestly. Please, ANY HELP would be greatly appreciated. Ignore the typos please.
Recap of the best day of my life. (5/2/12)
I was going to see Rise Against and A Day to Remember with Title Fight in Charlotte, 3 hours away from where I live.
We got to the show early, and I still had two extra tickets left. So I walked around with one of my friends for a bit, and couldn’t find anyone who didn’t have tickets. If they didn’t, they always needed 3. So, we finally went back to the line, where we were first in line after taking our 3 hour trip 3 hours early, and we sat in the shade to stay out of the 90 degree sun. There was a group of three people behind us talking. Two girls and a guy, and I just asked if they knew anyone that would want to come and buy the tickets.
They said “no, probably not.”
“Well, they’re pit tickets if you know anyone.”
When I said that they lit up, but they still had three people. They started calling everyone, and we started talking. One fo the girls, I found extremely attractive, even though she was geared up to be super comfortable on a hot day. She still was so pretty, her name was Heather. We talked for 3 and a half hours, which seemed to go by in no time. None of their friends could come to the show, but at teh last minute they found someone to buy 2 of their tickets, and the two girls bought my tickets.
So, then we go inside, I get my friends right at the barrier, almost dead center, and save room for the two girls, as I was attracted to one of them, and they were both AWESOME! We chilled and rocked out for the first band, Title Fight, and talked some more. I found out hte guy had gotten his ticket free from them anyways, so he was still fine even though they ditched him pretty much.
ADTR came on, and I told Heather how I wanted a drumstick from Alex so bad. She told me if she randomly got one that she would give me half, and I told her I would do the same. Since I did get a stick from the Title Fight drummer.
Next thing I know someone grabs my shoulder, I expect a crowd surfer, but it was Dillon, the guy who was in the lawn. He saw a friend who worked at the venue who gave him a free pit pass. It was so exciting to have the entire group from the line together.
Now, I am feeling really good. I started to wave my drumstick I already had trying to get Alex’s attention, and then he looked at me and nodded. I freaked out so hardcore. Then they finished their set, my friend got a pick from Josh Woodward, and Alex walked to me and gave me a stick!!!! I was so excited, but the first thing I did was snap that thing in half for my new friend Heather. I had only known this girl for 5 hours, but she was so cool, cute, and I made a deal. We were both happy, obviously.
We then watched Rise Against play, and I got a guitar pick from their guitarist, which is awesome. I am giving it to my honorary sister, who is actually my cousin. She is the best, and deserves something for the help she gave me that day.
We then walked with Marteika, Heather, and Dillon to the merch stand so my friend Paxton could get a shirt for his girlfriend, and we said goodbye, and that we need to have another concert get together and left.
I have added these people on facebook, and talked to Heather a bit more. She lives 2 hours from here, and is going to see the Used on the 23rd. I am considering going. She has told me to get tickets and go so we can sit outside hte gate and talk again and all, but I don’t know. These people are some of the coolest people outside of my best friends I have met, and I really can’t wait to hang out with them again. At he same time, I would really like to get to know Heather more too. She is definitely one of the most legit girls i have ever talked to in terms of things we have in common. At least what I know so far. Hanging with Dillon and Marteika again would be awesome.
Sometimes in life people come in at the most unexpected times and turn everything you thought you knew upside down, and it is a great feeling. I can only hope the entire crew that was there that day, my 4 friends, the 3 new ones, and myself, can get together and hangout again. Hopefully some of us at the Used concert.
I feel like such a pathetic loser typing this for being so happy about meeting these random people and for kind of liking girl I barely know, but then again, isn’t that the point of talking to people?
Most of the time something like this would go unpublished or on my password protected blog only to be deleted, but from now on I am not going to worry about what people on here think. This is going to be like a story book to my life.
Q:are you planning to go see 'the beatles: the lost concert' film?
Anonymous
Sorry for the late reply to this, I haven’t been on here in ages. I may go see that. I try to watch as much stuff as I can about successful musicians as I feel it will help me be a better musician.
